Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Operation Dissertation Hibernation

The hour has finally arrived, its time to write the dissertation. Just me, the Coens and noir for the next week or if everything goes according to plan, the next few days. I have decided to go into hibernation while writing the dissertation as I get distracted easily. I will only watch relevant films and read the relevant books so hopefully I will get this work done. I've found that I work better when I do the writing in one big sitting rather than a bit everyday, there's no flow unless its all at once. The dissertation is all about violence in the Coen brothers films so it should be fun. The rules are I can eat dinner and eat small things as I go and I can drink plenty of coffee, fruit tea and water, but otherwise I have to be writing. So wish me luck, I'll emerge when its done!

The Scandalous Affairs of Barbara & Boris Hoganstein: Part 3

It obviously took Barbara longer than ten minutes to bury the body, in fact it took her thirty three minutes. The murder wasn't planned, it was a crime of passion. The couple were about to leave their home to go to the Halloween Ball, when Barbara heard movement in the kitchen. Boris had gone to investigate, leaving Barbara alone in the hallway. When he got to the kitchen he saw that the back door had been damaged, some one had broken in. The next thing he heard was a loud shout. He ran to the front door. There stood a tall thin man with scruffy blonde hair, his arm round Barbara's shoulders and a knife in his other hand pointing directly at her neck. It was only the second time Boris had seen Barbara so frightened. The first time was on their honeymoon, when they had gone to Paris. Boris had wanted to go up the Eiffel Tower, Barbara had agreed but was quiet for the rest of the day. When they had finally reached the top, she had turned quite pale. When asked what was wrong, she said "I'm afraid  of heights, I didn't say anything because I knew you wanted to climb up here". Those were better days. Back to the situation at hand. Boris moved closer, the man moved the knife closer to her neck. The blonde intruder started talking about money and blackmail and how it was time to stop. Neither Boris or Barbara knew what he was talking about. There was a pause. The blonde haired man stopped, took his arm away, lowered the knife and was about to say "I've made a mistake" but it was too late. Boris lunged forward, he grabbed the man's head and smashed it against the door, before he could defend himself, Barbara, wearing high heeled shoes, red, her favourite, stamped down on his foot and stifled the scream with her hand. And with one final blow, they both grabbed the knife and stabbed the blonde man in the chest. They both stepped back, shocked by what had just happened.

Who was this man? Why was he there? Questions that will be answered soon.

Monday, 28 March 2011

It Is, It Is a Glorious Thing, To Be a Pirate King

So I was supposed to be doing my dissertation when I got distracted by a clip from Pirates of Penzanze, it was the amazing part where the pirates sing 'With Cat-Like Tread'. Then I decided to just make a short list of reasons why Kevin Kline is so awesome.

1. His movement during the song 'With Cat-Like Tread', he manages to kick his leg high and gain distance at the same time, that is a skill
2. His Italian accent in I Love You To Death. Not a very big film, but amazing cast!
3. He is the only good thing is Wild Wild West.
4. His hysterical breakdowns in Soapdish. Soapdish = best film ever!
5. He was the best Nick Bottom I've seen (apart from myself of course) in any production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
6. He can speak french! See his new film Queen to Play.
7. Not really up to him but he had the best character name in A Prairie Home Companion, Guy Noir
8. He is hilarious in animation too, perfect casting in The Road to El Dorado.
9. He can actually sing!
10. He can play serious roles too, see The Ice Storm, then never again, really depressing
11. He is an Academy Award Winning Actor (A Fish Called Wanda).

Sunday, 27 March 2011

It Combines Two of My Favourite Things

The film is done!!! Really ecstatic about how good the footage looks and everyone was awesome! There is also a teaser trailer for the film to be found:

 Tomorrow I'll start looking through the shots and maybe matching them up with the audio but I really should be doing my dissertation. Its about violence and the Coen brothers (two of my favourite things) but the thought about writing 6,000 words is soul destroying. I just want to edit my film and then maybe watch some Harper's Island and then pass on the DVD so everyone watches Harper's Island. But if I've managed not to eat crisps or chocolate over the course of the shoots I think I should be able to write the damn dissertation. It will take me two days without doing anything else, but it will get done.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Maybe some laughs, maybe a bit of . . .

Space Detective continued, this time it was one scene all day, but with the most complicated lighting. Two more genres added, Horror and Comedy, they made brief but important appearances. Lighting definitely made an impact on the scene. As predicted it got very hot, very quickly, tempers were almost lost, I could feel it. Tomorrow's scene will be outside, the weather is predicted to be sunny so all is well (touch wood for luck).

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

The Scandalous Affairs of Barbara & Boris Hoganstein: Part 2

You may think I have forgotten about the Hogansteins mysterious scandal, but I haven't. This is just a small hint as to why the couple arrived separately to last year's Halloween Ball. Not many guests noticed this, but Boris arrived in another car, that wasn't his own. The car he drove had a dented front passenger door, the left headlight was smashed and the car was a moss coloured green. All these elements made it obvious; this wasn't Boris' car. When he entered the foyer, few people noticed that he also had mud on his shoes, he had tried to scrape most of it off but you could still see the mud smudges.

But why was Barbara ten minutes behind her husband in the couple's car? She was burying the body of course.

Two Words, Space Detective!

Started out as a joke, but is now a reality, Space Detective started production today! Crazy morning, four actors, two make up artists, four crew and of course, my parents, all in the house either drinking tea, getting make up done, or listening to some rather disgusting opinions from a crew member, but it was an awesome day. I shouldn't speak too soon as I don't want to jinx the next three days. So tired from previous shoot but we still had time to prepare for the next day of shooting by making fake blood and covering an apron with it. If tomorrow is anything like today, I'm looking forward to it. Luckily there won't be any murderous geese around.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

The Allergy Circus

This will be a short but sweet post. Just got back from a late night shoot, we were filming a scene where a woman eats nuts and kisses a guy who is allergic to nuts. Of course this was surrounded by jokes about people with a nut allergy and jokes about me. Ever since I was in primary school, people have always made fun of me for being allergic to nuts, the jokes are old, they are boring, but still people find it hilarious. It doesn't matter that it is actually quite painful. Your face can swell up, your throat can close up, your skin itches, its takes a while for the feeling to go, just a few examples of reactions. Apart from the fact that all food now states it may contain nuts, the teasing and the jokes are the worst part of an allergy. No matter where I am or what I'm doing my deathly allergy becomes the joke of the day. No doubt if people I know are reading this, they will just laugh. To be fair, even my family think my nut allergy doesn't exist anymore. A family member (who will remain nameless) made some rice and put pesto in it, I ate it, had one mouthful and had an allergic reaction, luckily I took some pills in time. A few days later, they made the same rice, told me there was no pesto in it, I ate some, I had another reaction, the family member had lied, later they admitted it saying that they thought the allergy was all in my head. A nut allergy isn't funny, its painful, and I'd like to say I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I do to anyone who has ever laughed or made fun of someone with a nut allergy.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

The Art of Avoiding Someone

There is always that awkward moment when you recognise someone that you haven't seen in a while but you don't really want to talk to them, but you remember that this person will want to talk, maybe for ages, or walk with you and talk, but you really don't want to do that, at least, not today. The moment is made awkward when you try and escape them but you see them, then they see you, running away. You end up staring at each other for a second and then to avoid further awkwardness you dash in the opposite direction. This happened to me today when I was getting off the train. I noticed that the person in front of me reminded me of someone, I thought it was someone else and was about to say hello, when I realised it wasn't. I worked all this out from the back of their head and their voice (they were on the phone). I decided the best way to hide from someone was to stand directly behind them, which I did.  I followed them almost out of the station, I thought I had got away from them, but no. They were meeting someone and they were waiting at the door of the station, so they could maybe see me. I knew this other person too and actually wanted to avoid them because I didn't like them and they insulted a film I really liked. So I did the classic, scratch my head and turn away move, then the dash out of the station. It worked, I was free to walk in the sunshine eating my apple. Twas a good day indeed.

And They Must Bring Towels With Them

It is understandable to ask them to bring towels but when there isn't enough room in the car, then we have a problem. It makes sense when my parents explain it, but then I feel guitly when I tell my crew. I can't win.

Watching Comic Relief, yes I did feel a tad guilty, but doesn't everyone. I mean I watched it purely because I wanted to see the Upstairs Downstairs Abbey skit, which was fantastic, and the Miranda segment, which was also 'such fun', but the documentary segments were truely aweful to watch and that is where the guilt comes in. I did donate though, while buying costumes for my film in TKMax. I thought I should, I have no money but it was only £1. But before all that charity, I felt guilty from this morning. It wasn't even my fault but I still felt bad. My house mate's film shoot was meant to start today but one of the actor's got the time wrong so the shoot had to be rescheduled for Tuesday. I felt guilty but it had nothing to do with me, I hate it when that happens. I even felt guilty about taking this bully's chair back in secondary school. I took it away from her as she watched and I felt bad. But I didn't feel bad when I ate those biscuits, its because I balanced them out with an apple. The balance is restored, all is well.

Another guilt trip always starts when my parents ring me, even if they don't say anything to make me feel guilty, it just seems to be an automatic feeling. But its time to move on from this and concentrate on the shoot and other things, possibly a trip to the cinema, even though I shouldn't.

Still feel guilty about the towels issue . . . .

Thursday, 17 March 2011

The Scandalous Affairs of Barbara & Boris Hoganstein

The Hogansteins were a strange couple. Anyone who met them for the first time, or even the second time, thought or felt that there was something not quite right about them. Truth being, they knew themselves how odd they were, but instead of screaming hysterically about this fact, they embraced it and then later forgot about it. This was simply because they couldn’t give a damn what other people thought of them, sort of.

It was at a rather formal dinner party that they’re oddest become more apparent to their friends, acquaintances and enemies. This was about the time they started to argue quite a bit, in private and in public. They seemed to be able to have a furious argument in a crowded room and bring hardly any attention to themselves, but when they separated from each other and talked to others in the room, the arguements seemed to be more obvious. It was the way they talked about each other that gave them away. 

 Boris Hoganstein was a gentleman by nature, but his darker side was always waiting in the shadows. At any weak moment it could take over and either ruin or save everything. People tended to like Boris more so that his wife, mainly because there was something strangely attractive about his being. He often smoked a pipe but at dinner parties, made his wife hold it when he was talking. He sometimes wore a monocle as well, but this was only so he didn’t have to wear proper glasses, as it was a little known fact that Boris was in fact quite short sighted. He was of average height and tended to wear shirts and waistcoats, his favourite being a beige waistcoat with a patterned silk back. His wife had bought this for him on their fifth wedding anniversary at a time when they were very much a couple, if you understand what I mean.

Now Barbara Hoganstein was quite different from her husband. Yes, she was tall, elegant, and picturesque, her face was perfect, not a blemish in sight but her manner was something else. She could drink like a fish; finish a bottle of Rose wine (her favourite) without even some much as blinking her eyes. She had the ability to consume glass after glass and it not even affect her. Despite her talent for drinking, she could be rather a bore at parties, swaning around the room not speaking to anyone, just giving certain people disdainful glances, especially her husband. Most people weren’t too keen on Barbara, for the most obvious reason, she was a bitch. When she did talk to people, she had a habit of insulting them, but in an underhanded way. When Boris first met Barbara he thought it was a talent but later agreed with others that it spiteful.
These were the Hogansteins, married for eight years, happy on and off for five. The people who travelled in the same circles as the couple and who considered themselves as 'close friends' often commented on how changed they were. They were always a topic of conversation at any party or gathering, even when they didn't attend. Especially when they didn't attend.

I suppose you could say the gossip and tales really began at the most famous party of the season, the Halloween Ball held annually at Cherry Hall, an old theatre that had been converted into a grand hall, converted for such occasions as this one. It was always a grand affair and usually drama was included at some point during the evening. Surprisingly enough Boris and Barbara had never quite taken centre stage in these dramatic events. They arrived together every time, always dressed in the most exquisite costumes and then separated for an hour to talk to others and of course find out where the drinks were being served, then continue the evening together. But it was at last year's ball when tradition was broken. The Hogansteins arrived separately. Boris first, then Barbara ten minutes later. For any other couple to arrive separately it was normal, it didn't matter, but for these two, it was strange. In the history of their marriage and in fact their engagement too, Boris and Barbara had never attended a party, gathering or event apart. When Barbara finally arrived, it was as if the King had just died, the room was silent. Being odd, the couple didn't notice this and continued their routine, as if nothing was new. It was later brought to light why this had happened, but that tale is for another day. 

But I can tell you this, it definitely involves a deathly scandal of some sort.

All Katies are crazy, true story

It is a fact that most (maybe all you just don’t know) Katies or Kates or Katherines are in some way, crazy. Think about it for a second. If you know any girls or women called by this name they are crazy. If you disagree, then you haven’t discovered that side of them yet. Being a Katie, I know.
Introduction over, this blog is going to be a mash up of reality and fiction, hope it catches on. I might even post up past entries that were never published (because I didn’t how to publish stuff at the time) but I will probably have to vet them, as they mention certain people and certain events and of course my aggressive writing. My sister, Annie, advised me to tone down the swearing and so I shall try very hard to, but I can't promise anything when it comes to writing fiction.

So that's something to look forward to . . .